Living with the Geckos0

I have been enjoying living in my new house in Lippo Karawaci. It’s 45-minutes driving from Jakarta at midnight, or 2,5 hours in the morning. I don’t own it, though, I just rent it. On the contrary to the popular belief that people with my profession have a lot of money, I had to ask for an advance from my boss just to pay a one-year rent. Two small bedrooms, two tiny toilets and nowhere to put my DVD collections. So I put them in the kitchen. I also put my giant sofa which I robbed from my producer’s office and a 14-inch TV set there. I really doesn’t help my lose-15-kilos plan because now I don’t have to move much to cook instant noodle, to insert DVDs to my DVD player, and to operate the washing machine because everything is within reach. I gained another 3 K in a month.

Right, I gained weight but I also gained freedom. When I was still living in a kos-house or living in a house with a bunch of friends, I had to wear headphones while watching porn. Now I can let the “oooh… aaaahh”s that come out of the TV speakers echo throughout the room. The house is sound-proof. I’ve checked. Now I can also make some tea in my underwear. Making tea in your underwear must symbolize total freedom somewhere. I’m sure of it. May be I’ll google it later.

Living alone doesn’t mean you don’t get excitement that can pump up your adrenaline. On the seventh day of my living alone, my house turned into a battle field. There was a giant, 20cm-long gecko in the living room. I was brooming the room when it suddenly appeared from behind the desk lamp. After staring each other for about 30 seconds, it started making sound. It looked so scary.

It seemed to chase me. When I went to the right, it went to the right. When I went to the left, it went to the left. When I ran to the kitchen, it followed me. I threw it with a box. I missed it. I threw it with my underwear, it made that scary sound again. So I started throwing stuffs at it but it was too agile for me to hit. The room was a mess. Finally, I took a half-full can of Baygon and sprayed it until it empty to the gecko. Baygon got a strong spraying power so I didn’t have to get too near to the monster. I thought it felt dizzy until it passed out. I covered it my dirty underwear for a total intoxicating effect and sweep it out of the house with my broom.

The other day when Hera and Tatut were visiting, another giant gecko terrorized me. Tatut and I joined forces to fight it. We won. Again, with the help of Baygon.

There hasn’t been any gecko disturbance lately and I’ve been living in peace. Until two days ago when my mom called and told me that she was gonna come over during lebaran with my dad. Then my sister called, saying that she was gonna come with my parents along with her kids.

Now I’m trying to figure out where they can all sleep.They must expect to see their suppossedly successful member of the family living in luxury. I don’t even have beds in my house. I could buy some beds, but that’ll mean I’m gonna ask for another advance from my boss. Or may be I should tell them about the geckos. May be that will scare them and decide not to come at all.