It was a long weekend two weeks ago. Like all Jakartans who are desperate for a holiday, me and my friends went to Bandung, the capital of West Java. And like all desperate holidays, it was ill-fated. With the new freeway, it should’ve only taken two hours to get there. But since everybody was going there, it was long enough for me to see two horror films on DVD while driving. (I’ve developed an ability to have my left eye watch the DVD monitor on my dashboard while my right eye watching the road, seriously). And when I had to stop because of the traffic jam, I read the “Financial Revolution” tips on my cellphone again and again.
I began subscribing the service since the advertisement on TV says it will give you guides on “how to become financially secured in two years or less”. It sends you one text message every morning and they charge you 1,000 Rupiah (US 13 cents) per sms. Since I always wonder how am I going to get or to save money to live the next month, I think 1,000 Rupiahs x 2 x 360 days = 720,000 Rupiahs is a nothing compared with the prospect of being financially secured in two years or less. Whoa… And they say that the guy who gives you the guiding words, Tung Desem Waringin, has been invited by big companies to give his words of wisdom to their employees.
I just finished watching the first DVD, a horror about sheeps that kill village people when the traffic jammed again. It was 1 am and all my friends were asleep. I stopped driving and read the sms from Financial Revolution:
“We can change our emotion to be better (sic) by sitting very powerlessly, then suddenly sit very straight as if we were 10 centimeters higher, look up and smile.”
So I tried that. The car shook very violently and it woke my friends up. But they didn’t know what was going on. “Go back to sleep.” I said. My mood didn’t change. So I watched another horror movie on DVD, this time about cows that kill, and drove on.
We arrived at 3 am, and checked into an over-charged hotel with towels not even big enough to wrap around my smallest friend’s waist. When I wanted to go out of the bathroom to get something from my bag, I had to decide whether I wanted to cover my front or my bottom. Hera, who had to swallow all the complaints because she was the one who made the reservation, finally sulked. “Yeah, try to find the hotel next time!” she said.
The next morning, after listening to Bernie’s complaints about us not having a schedule where to go, we decided to take his suggestion to go to this place called “Kavling Strawberry” where we could pick strawberries ourselves. None of us had been there but someone suggested that it would be a fun place. We immediately imagined the strawberry field in that karaoke video of the Beatles song.
It was quite a long drive. I received another sms from Financial Revolution. It read:
“Basically, it’s easier to change our (body) movement than to change our feeling. By changing our (body) movement spontaneously, we’ll be happier.”
It was Jeffrey who was driving, so it was easier for me to do what the guide said. My hand was reaching out to scratch my head when I suddenly “changed the movement” and picked my nose instead. For the next hour, I kept changing my body movement spontaneously without my friends knowing it. I couldn’t recall if I was happier then.
After several wrong turns, we arrived at the strawberry place which looked suspiciously… small. However, one of the employees told us that the actual place where we’re gonna do some serious strawberry picking would be huge.
Each person who wanted to pick strawberry had to purchase a ticket. And the ticket was a plastic cup of strawberry juice. After we bought “tickets”, a female guide gave us scissors and strawberry baskets. “No eating strawberries before we scale them,” she said. So she walked us down the hill for five minutes. Then we arrived at the strawberry picking site.
In front of the strawberry fence, I squatted down. “I’m not going in there,” I said. Everybody else was so stunned by the scale of the strawberry “field”. One of us actually muttered, ” I feel like such a loser.” But then the laughter broke. Everybody seemed to be imagining that it was actually a huge strawberry field. To make the “field” looked wide, Hera was running forward and then backward. Tatut was picking the strawberry which were quite hard to find in slo-mo. But the most diligent of us, as usual, was Priesnanda who searched for ripe strawberries to the very edge of the “field”.
Meanwhile, I tried to read another sms from Financial Revolution:
“In order to be instantly happy, do the following: take a deep breath, arms wide open, face up, and smile widely.”
So I tried just that.
We drove back to Jakarta that afternoon. Our car was extremely quiet and I was running out of horror DVDs. I turned on the TV but I was afraid that we could only watch gossip shows. The other day, it was about some celebrity who was supposed to have a huge collection of basketball shoes. Me and Hera counted them. Only ten pairs. Was it a rip-off or were we just guilty of having high expectation in the land of mediocrity?
I read another sms from Financial Revolution:
“To have a faster change, we have to master body movement (physiology), how to breath, and how to see..”
I didn’t finish. I just type UNREG.
Oh… Jeffrey left his bag in the hotel lobby in Bandung.
